and so there is still time. and hope. i guess that sometimes i get overwhelmed(or is it just ‘whelmed’?) at my situation. but i don’t understand it cause my situation is fine. good great even. nothing to complain about except that it can feel so mundane and i can feel so alone. but there’s movement towards being with people. a book club. something. people together talking over a book. and drinks. i think people are essential. and i’ve been trying too long to live in isolation, even if it’s been unintentional. i guess theres some light breaking. and my eyes are sore and resistant. i just want to roll over and pull the covers over my head. a part of me. then theres another that wants to be exposed naked. look people in the eyes and be known. and my heart leaps.